At Acme Laboratories, the Brain is surfing the web, and reading the Talking Phil blog post. Pinky is twiddling his digits, looking on vacantly in the direction of the screen. This is no sure indicator that he is actually reading the post. Brain is intently scanning it, and growing agitated. He speaks:
Pinky… are you pondering what I’m pondering? Have you read this piece from the UK?
He has managed to scan the headline, nothing more.
Zork! Why, what could we do with radio controlled Beatles Brain?
Don’t you see Pinky? They very well could be the missing piece in our quest for World Domination!
What? Didn’t we try that once before?
No, no. Not those Beatles you dolt. These beetles:
Oh. I get it Brain. We can steer them away from street lights so surfer dudes won’t waste their time filming them? Narf! Brilliant.
Pinky, your obtuseness astounds.
Oh. That’s embarrassing. I’ll have to get that taken care of. I didn’t think it showed.
No, no no! Listen. If we can insert micro miniaturized RC units in these coleoptra, we can create swarms at will. Millions of creature minions that will do our bidding!
(On the other hand, if we can insert a micro miniaturized grey matter into your cranium Pinky, even that would be an improvement.)
Oh, never mind Pinky.
*Sigh* What is it now Pinky?
I was wondering. Wouldn’t those beetles like miss their lives being taken over like that? Maybe they want to fly around street lights in the night. Zoink!
They’re beetles, not people. They cannot miss anything.
But, if they were genetically modified, if they’re genes had been spliced...
Shut up Pinky.
Brain, how are we going to radio control a swarm? How are we going to attach backpacks to all those beetles?
Send them a-mazing? How is running a maze going to help? Will there be cheese at the end? Can I run it too Brain? Please! Please!
No Pinky. No mazes. I’m simply amazed that you thought of a relevant critique. Never fear. I’ll find a way.
He pulls out a blue-print, and busily starts sketching a complex flow chart, explaining it as he goes:
Perhaps we can use the great beetle swarm to decimate crops!
But Brain, if we run BrainyMart, won’t we have to deal with protests?
Either we’ll have union employees or NARF!
I sense a use of constructive dilemma here. Pinky, I’m impressed. Go on.
If we do have a unionized work force, they will strike, and we’ll have to work the weekend shifts and holidays.
I see Pinky…
And if we do not have a unionized work force, the unions will picket our stores and make life miserable for us anyway.
Perhaps you are right Pinky. Maybe radio-controlled bugs are not the panacea I thought they were. Hell. Let’s call it a night Pinky. Maybe we can work the Christmas angle. Maybe the next episode. I’ll sleep on that.
Whatever you say Brain. Nighty-night. Narf!