You know...those nefarious ne'er do wells, the Koch Brothers, puppeteers behind the curtains in Wisconsin. Yep, those guys, the same ones the progressive forces have been gamely resisting.
They received a call from Patty Murray of the Dem Senatorial Campaign Committee. Hilarity ensues.
The Reply from the Brothers Burdette:
Dear Senator Murray:
For many months now, your colleagues in the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee leadership have engaged in a series of disparagements and ad hominem attacks about us, apparently as part of a concerted political and fundraising strategy. Just recently, Senator Reid wrote in a DSCC fundraising letter that Republicans are trying to “force through their extreme agenda faster than you can say ‘Koch Brothers.’”
So you can imagine my chagrin when I got a letter from you on June 17 asking us to make five-figure contributions to the DSCC. You followed that up with a voicemail* indicating that, if we contributed heavily enough, we would garner an invitation to join you and other Democratic leaders at a retreat in Kiawah Island this September.
I’m hoping you can help me understand the intent of your request because it’s hard not to conclude that DSCC politics have become so cynical that you actually expect people whom you routinely denounce to give DSCC money.
It is troubling that private citizens taking part in the discourse have become the targets of White House and DSCC fundraising missives, and we would certainly encourage you to rethink that approach. Ultimately, I expect voters will see through that and will weigh the issues on the merits alone. But in the meantime, if you could provide me some insight on what exactly you are asking of us and why, I would be most grateful.
President, Government & Public Affairs
Koch Companies Public Sector, LLC
And the reply?
Thank you for your genuine, heartfelt concern about our recent solicitation and your request for clarification. Indeed, the form letter and follow-up solicitation you received was a staff error.
However, the bigger and more troubling mistake is the long political history of your employer, the Koch Brothers. As a (former?) Democrat, perhaps your time would be better spent looking into their efforts to privatize Social Security or their opposition to expanding the children's health insurance program. Or maybe, you can post a list of all of the anonymous contributions they have made to right-wing smear campaigns across the country. If you'd like to share voicemails from all the shady groups asking you for millions of dollars, we'd happily listen to those as well.
So, I write to make it clear that your invitation was an error and has been rescinded.
Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee
A staff error?" Maybe. But the evil Brothers Burdette have contributed to the Dems in the past. Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Don't tell anybody.
The Kochs donated almost $200,000 to the Democratic organizations in 2010 and $30,000 to DSCC in the same cycle.
Mere coincidence, no doubt. Maybe big bad Murray thought the brothers would believe she'd call off the dogs for a little protection money?
Comon now. Y'all know Big and Li'l Enos don't cow that easily. You all gotta come with bigger guns than that, ya hear?