Wednesday, June 2, 2010

While we are on the subject of sabotage...or is it sabataage?

What would William Shatner say?

"You say sabotage. I say sabataage."

I Couldn't resist.

Sabotage by bureaucracy! From Volokh Conspiracy via friend

An actual WWII era OSS field manual for citizen saboteurs, contains some hilarious advice for those that were insider cogs in the Axis governments and military organizations. Dilbertize!

Librivox has the audio book. Listen here:

and the PDF is here.

Some nuggets:

(a) Organizations and Conferences

(1) Insist on doing everything through “channels.” Never permit short-cuts to be taken in order to expedite decisions.
* * *

(3) When possible, refer all matters to committees, for “further study and consideration.” Attempt to make the committees as large as possible–never less than five.
(4) Bring up irrelevant issues as frequently as possible.

(5) Haggle over precise wordings of communications, minutes, resolutions.

(6) Refer back to matters decided upon at the last meeting and attempt to re-open the question of the advisability of that decision.

(7) Advocate “caution.” Be “reasonable” and urge your fellow-conferees to be “reasonable” and avoid haste which might result in embarrassments or difficulties later on.

(8) Be worried about the propriety of any decision–raise the question of whether such action as is contemplated lies within the jurisdiction of the group or whether it might conflict with the policy of some higher echelon.

This suggests a whole new wing of warfare in the GWOT does it not? Along with namby pamby COIN, we need to bureaucratize the escheton for our death cultist enemy. Along with hearts and minds stuff, we need to recruit saboteurs within AQ, the Taliban, Hamas, etc.. whose mission it would be to bureaucratize the enemy into stultifying torpor.

I can see the meeting at AQ headquarters now..

[S1 and S2 are our moles]

UBL: "OK, gentleman, we've called this meeting to consider the list of candidates for the next glorious martyrdom operation. You all have their profiles before you. Before we begin though, we would like to observe a moment of silence for our dear departed colleague, Brother Yazid, whose career was tragically cut short by the cowardly minions of the great Satan. There will be a memorial fund collected. At the close of our meeting, I will appoint a committee for the purchase of flowers for the survivors. But, we must press on in our work. Brother Yazid would have wanted it. So, on to the task at hand. We will today pick the agent for our next martyrdom operation, from among the 10 brave candidates you have in the personnel files before you. Please examine the files. You will see transcripts, work experience..etc."

S1: "Excuse me sir, but I don't see any psychological profiles. Shouldn't we consider that? I mean, suppose that we go to all the trouble of picking a guy, wire him for paradise, he's managed to navigate the checkpoints to the target, but is too scared for his own life to detonate? Sure, we can sell 'em on the glories of the afterlife till we are blue in the face but, don't you think we need a better way to weed out the people that won't follow through?"

UBL: "These men will be proud to die! They want to serve Allah. But, also, they want to serve me! Why do you question?"

S1: "It's for the good of the organization Sir. Don't get me wrong..." (looks around for support)

Dr. Z: "You know..he does have a point. As a doctor I know the importance of..well..outlook, and..fortitude.."

S2. "For the glory of Allah, you are right Dr. Zawahiri. I move that we create a committee that will create the psychological profiles you speak of dear brother."

S1: "I am honored to have my idea considered seriously by the most noble brothers. But, do you think it is wise to create a committee in a slapdash and hasty fashion my dear leader?" (He is addressing UBL)

UBL, Rubbing his bearded chin thoughtfully: "Brother. My apologies for being short. Now that you have spoken, continue. What do you mean?"

S2: "Shouldn't we take steps to assure that the committee members are competent to make such important judgments?"

Dr. Z, getting really excited by all this: "Yes, of course, Al Qaeda is the very image of competence... "

S2: "Yes brother, praise be to is! I move that we protect our great competence, by forming a committee to advise the present board as to the candidates best suited to be empaneled on the Martyrdom Operations Psychological Assessment Committee. And, pursuant to the successful creation of a candidate pool, we take up the issue of the formation of the Martyrdom Operations Psychological Assessment Committee, and consider the pool of candidates, picking 5 from amongst the glorious brotherhood for that duty."

S1: "By God Yes! It is so clear now. And I move that upon empaneling of the Martyrdom Operations Psychological Assessment Committee, it be empowered to select candidates for upcoming martyrdom operations, which will then be voted on and transmitted to the committee of the whole for final selection."

UBL: "Glorious brothers. Simply glorious."

S1: "But, then isn't there the whole matter of weapons construction, delivery, and logistics?"

S2: "Yes of course dear brother. We must assure our supreme competence in these vital areas too. I move that we create a committee for each of these vital operations."

S1: "But, by parity of reasoning my dear brothers, shouldn't we first.."

UBL interrupts, finishing the thought, as he is greatly excited, now that he sees the light: "...Form committees to select candidates for each of these committees, each committee being counted as a subcommittee of a subcommittee of the committee of the whole..Why yes. Of course. We must assure our competence..."

The war is won.

Congress would be proud.

Solomonia Gaza "flotilla" news roundup part the second

Once again, outstanding.


And part the third. New footage of stun grenade attacks by 'peace activists'

And from the parallel universe of the bizarre counter-factual, or more simply, Bizarro World, we have this (once again from Solomon) jaw dropper from Captain Louise Peck, objective observer. From an NPR interview:

"Edward Peck says the group discussed being nonviolent because they didn't want to provoke soldiers."

So, all those weapons?...Youz guys were just holdin' a gun and knife show? Five buck to get in?